He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
