dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
