I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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