Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
3 2 1 whiskey
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
