DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize