I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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