we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
