We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
