He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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