Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
