it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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