You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
