just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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