He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
