One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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