i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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