I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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