Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
