dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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