There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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