you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
