i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
