It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
