their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
