i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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