with your own penis?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
