An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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