I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
