I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize