i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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