The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
