The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
