Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
this just has baby written all over it
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
