Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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