I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
