I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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