I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
