So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
