the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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