I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
