Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize