My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
