No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
