Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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