if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
