Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
