I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
how drunk are you?
Several
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
