I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
