I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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