Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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