I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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