It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize