Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
vagina is talking i cant
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
