Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
