I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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