its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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