I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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