They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
this boner is exhausting
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
