you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
