No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
