I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
