i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
