im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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