In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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