ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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