im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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