yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
