Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
