I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
