Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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