Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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