Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
