His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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