Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
