I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just puked most of my soul out..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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