Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
