there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
