I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
