What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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