There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
